Arquette is Out
The good news for David Arquette is that he has just been released from rehab. The better news is that he's likely to stay clean now that Charlie Sheen has used up all the available hookers and cocaine in the state of California.



Snowmageddon
Yet another massive snowstorm is slamming much of the country just as road clearings supplies have run out. But most states plan on digging out by forcing all the global warming alarmists to shovel in the cold until they all drop dead.



Cairo Protests
The pro-Democracy protests in Cairo are expected to draw one million people today. Usually to get that many Arabs to show up anywhere you have to promise to stone some women to death.



Wisconsin Deal
Under a new deal, companies that relocate to Wisconsin won't have to pay income taxes for two years... and they won't be able to take off their winter coats for three years.



SF Yellow Page Ban
San Francisco may start banning the unrequested delivery of the Yellow Pages. It turns out too many people were using them to bash annoying enviromentalists over the head.




February 1st


1968: Canada's three military services, the Royal Canadian Navy, the Canadian Army and the Royal Canadian Air Force, are unified into the Labatt’s brewery.

1968: The New York Central Railroad and the Pennsylvania Railroad are merged to form the world’s largest urinal.

1978: After pleading guilty to charges of engaging in sex with a 13-year-old girl, director Roman Polanski skips bail and flees the United States to France… where he has a hot lead on foxy 12-year-old girl.